What it Takes
by WL.Erkling
Summary: Remus does not know how to handle the reappearance of someone he'd thought lost. [Wolfstar Drabble; Remus/ Sirius]


Disclaimer: Characters, settings, and themes from the Harry Potter universe are property of J.K Rowling. I neither own, nor am making profit from the writing or sharing of this story.

Paw prints led up to the porch the following morning. Fog obscured the view, but Remus could tell the day would be crisp and brittle, much like he felt. As he retreated inside, he caught the faint trace of something familiar. It was a scent he knew, a scent his body reacted to in ways that were visceral and unrelenting.

The little hairs on the nape of his neck stood at attention as if they'd been electrified. He shivered in the pale morning light. It worked its way into his toes, where his legs failed to support him. There, shaking the dew off his coat was a sight he never thought he'd see again.

" _Padfoot_."

The name was soft, a whisper against the grating of his heart as it wrenched his chest open and leapt from the cage in which he'd kept it locked for the last twelve years. It did not occur to him at the time that the concussive force from his knobby knees hitting the ground would feel like shattering glass. No, he winced at something else entirely. Liquid anguish pricked at the back of his eyes and the groan which escaped him was something between grief and despair.

Before him now stood a naked Sirius Black. Shivering, rail-thin, and in desperate need of a wash, he crawled forward to crouch in front of Remus. There was the barest hesitation before he extended a hand, fingers brushing a thigh, which caused Remus to scramble back like a frightened beast.

"He said… he said, but I didn't…" Remus was shaking his head now, unable to give voice to the words ricocheting around in his brain.

"Easy there, Moony." His voice crackled and popped like the records he used to repeat endlessly. Remus whimpered at the endearment. Sirius watched the confusion drip down from his eyebrows, into his mossy green eyes and seep into the soft bow of his lips. "Remus?" It was pained now, vulnerable. It wasn't his nakedness, but Remus' lack of motion that scared him.

"I don't know what to say." He looked down at the hand which lay on the floor near him, fingertips twitching as if wanting to move, creep, wriggle their way closer. When Sirius moved to talk, he pursed his lips and held up a hand. "Wait. Just… let me get this out, before I, before I can't." He took a deep breath, continuing, "We all thought you'd done it. They told me it was you. You can't know how much that hurt me, to think that you'd betrayed them, betrayed us, me." Sirius looked as if he wanted to puddle onto the floor and give everything of himself until Remus stopped with the verbal flaying. "At first, I refused to believe them. I refused to let anyone say that you had given James and Lily to the other side. They had Peter's finger and you were supposed to be made their secret keeper. It was pretty damning evidence, Sirius… But then we found out about Peter." Remus trailed off, sounding ill.

"You didn't know, Moony. You couldn't have known." He reached out again, this time toward Remus' chin. Remus turned away from the touch, unable to bear it.

"I knew! I bloody knew it wasn't the truth and I let them convince me it was you! I let you fester in Azkaban for twelve years because I was, AM a coward!" Remus' eyes went wide, his hands lifting to cover his face and eyes, to hide the tears. His shoulders jerked with each jagged inhale.

"Moony." It wasn't an admonishment. It wasn't anger. It wasn't pity. It was just his name. Remus sobbed harder and fell forward, no longer fighting when Sirius pulled him against the reeking flesh of his body. "I've missed you, Moony. We were supposed to live our lives together, after the war. We were supposed to grow old and help James raise his pups and taunt Lily at every turn. We were supposed to love each other until we couldn't stand it anymore." Remus was still. Awkward sniffles and back-handed swipes at his runny nose were about all he managed. "Remus?" Sirius used the long, aching fingers of one hand to life the other man's chin. "Do you still want any of that?"

"I want it all." His breath faltered for a moment, a short in, in, then a long and shaky exhale. "But we're too late. They're all gone. It's all gone, Pads." Sirius smiled at the name.

"Bollocks. We've not lost everything, Moony." Remus gave him a sad smile. "I have you, and you have me, and well, there's Harry. We've got some friends left. That's quite a lot if you ask me." There was no response from the man in his lap. "C'mon. Let's get you up and into a hot shower." Sirius was shocked when Remus laughed. It was a true, full laugh. He couldn't help the smiled, but asked, "What? Did I say something?"

"You say I need a wash as if I'm the one who hasn't had a shower in Merlin knows how long." He quirked his mouth up a little at Sirius' grin.

"There he is." Remus raised an eyebrow. "There's my Moony. I knew you'd come around. You always said that after the war, you'd brood a bit less."

"After the war." Here, he paused to inspect the floor, swiping an ink-stained thumb against some dirt. "Sirius, the war isn't over yet."

"Today's war is over, Remus. Let us celebrate the small victories. After all, it takes many battles to win a war."


End file.
